Paul’s teachings in Ephesians 5:21-33 are often presented as a recipe for a good marriage, however, several parts of this passage can be easily misunderstood and/or misapplied. When this happens, many couples can find themselves disappointed and disillusioned with each other. A proper understanding of authority allows us to apply these verses to our relationships and live out married life the way God intended.

Suggestions for Studying Ephesians During the Series:

1. Read daily passages along with NLT or ESV study Bible.
2. Read the whole book in one sitting once a week for the remainder of the series.
3. Listen to the whole book in one sitting once a week for the remainder of the series.

Click here to read the book of Ephesians.

Scripture References

Ephesians 5:21-33
Ephesians 4:1
1 Corinthians 11:3
1 Timothy
Proverbs 14
Proverbs 31
1 Peter 3:7

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-We all come under authority in some way, and authority is meant to create a covering or protection for others. In what ways has your view of submission or headship been skewed and differed from what the passage reflects (i.e. submission= coming underneath, active role, blessing not oppression; headship=bearing spiritual responsibility for those underneath, not earned but ordained)?
-Is it possible that you do not love your wife or respect your husband well? Can you hear that from her/him? What does it look like for you to humble yourself and respond well?
-Is it possible that you have unrealistic expectations about what it means to be loved or respected? In what ways are you seeking love from your husband or respect and honor from your wife to fill a need only God can fill?

Thoughts to Consider

-Authority and submission are both good things. The fact that we recognize when these things have been perverted indicates that we know that they can be good.
-There is a difference in the role of headship and power in a family. The wife has a unique position of power and influence with those around her despite not being in a position of headship.
-The position of headship is one of sacrifice, not benefit. Just as Christ sacrificed for us, husbands are called to sacrifice for their wives in order for their wives to have life and be blessed by their sacrifice.
-If your hand is leveraged against someone underneath your authority then God is against you.
-The oneness and mystery of marriage is not even about our marriages. It’s something bigger than us and is meant to be a reflection of Christ’s sacrificial love for His people.

Discussion Guide