On Letting Go

The desire for control is a creepy thing. It creeps up on us all the time in ways that we don’t even know.


It creeps up in our thoughts and in our hearts, affecting our words, actions, and decisions.

I was recently meeting with my mentor and discussing some frustrations and discontent I was feeling about work, marriage, and the season of life I’m in. As I was explaining to her all these feelings I was having, she just kept asking me the same question over and over:
“I’m just so frustrated about these certain areas of my marriage”
“Have you prayed about it?” she’d graciously respond.

“But I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing right now”
“Stop right there,” she’d tell me, “have you prayed about it?”

My mentor didn’t tell me to go out and do something specific to make things better; she didn’t tell me to talk more to my friends or even to my husband. She just told me to go straight to God. Over and over and over again, we just have to keep going straight to God before going to anyone else. Our lives and our situations are not in our own hands. He holds all of it.

“Over and over and over again, we just have to keep going straight to God before going to anyone else.”

We try so hard to control certain areas of our lives because we want to make the best decisions possible. And our motives are good, right? We want the best houses for our kids to grow up in, the best neighborhoods, the best schools, the best jobs, and the best positions. And we make these decisions all in the name of “safety,” “stability,” “health,” or “for the best future possible.”

But if you’re like me, most of the time my core motives for these decisions, when it all comes down to it, is the desire for control—to control the outcomes of my future and my family’s future.

It’s easy for me to read the story of Rebekah and Isaac’s deceit in Genesis 27 and think, “How foolish of them! How can they not see that what they’re doing is wrong?” But, oh, how many times am I just like them? So often I feel that I am the one who has to take action in order to bring God’s will for my life to fruition—as if it’s up to me to determine the outcome.

The enemy knows our weaknesses, and he will deceive us in this area over and over again. He’ll whisper, “After all, who else is going to make it happen, if not you?”

If we’re not careful, just like Rebekah and Isaac, we can be so quick to manipulate people and situations just to reach the outcome that we feel is going to be best for us.

“Our lives and our situations are not in our own hands. He holds all of it.”

As a woman of the fall, at the core of my being is the desire for control. We have to go straight to God to fight this battle every single day: in all our words, in all our actions, in all our decisions.

Because when we pour over everything in prayer to God, we release control, and God shows up in the most amazing ways. It’s in those times that we can just sit back and marvel at His work because we aren’t putting ourselves in the way of it. We are trusting Him and giving Him room to work on our behalf without manipulation or control.

There is so much power that happens in prayer. Going to God in prayer means submitting ourselves to Him and His authority over our circumstances and humbly coming under Him as His followers. It’s a matter of letting go, trusting that He is our Father, and watching His work be accomplished in His ways and in His timing.

Kaitlyn Fiedler

Kaitlyn is loving life with her husband Jordan. She enjoys long conversations over coffee with friends, leading her bible study group, and traveling somewhere new. She is always in pursuit of a good adventure. Kaitlyn attends our Powdersville campus.