11 Feb Narcissism 101: The Culture of College
In thinking about college, many words or concepts may come to mind. Freedom. Fun. Self-discovery. Independence. However, in light of our church’s recent teaching series, I, as a college senior, have come to associate much of my college experience with a word without these positive connotations: narcissism.
Though college serves a valuable function in personal, academic, and professional education, its very nature lends itself to narcissism. Higher education is, for most of us, merely a means to an end – a step along the way to that dream job. In many ways, college is only about me – preparing for my future, becoming who I want to be, earning a degree so that I can make a good salary. This idea of pursuing my ideal career is an accepted cultural mindset, and it is an essential part of the American Dream. However, it may do us well to step outside our culture and recognize that this Dream, as well as its outworking in educational pursuits, may not exactly square with the selfless principles of the Gospel.
Do not misunderstand me: I am not attacking college or those who attend it. Certainly, college has been invaluable for my own personal and professional trajectory. From a financial perspective, college is often a very wise investment, and it creates many opportunities to represent Christ in arenas that would be otherwise unavailable. However, the point is that the entire purpose of college is centered on myself. College is a narcissistic concept, which means that narcissism is inescapable for college students.
Though the freedom and independence of college are good things for young adults, they also come at a cost. The college experience is characterized by a lack of commitment. As a student, my only responsibility is to attend class, which usually takes around fifteen hours per week. However, even attending class is not mandatory; there is often no real penalty for sleeping in or skipping to go to the lake. As long as I do well enough to get my degree, I have nothing to worry about. Students choose a particular major, but are not committed to it – I’ve changed mine twice. College is a time to explore different interests – I can attend the meetings of one extracurricular club for a month, and then decide to move on to another one, and another one after that. For many students, parents are paying the way, so there is no financial responsibility to work or earn money. Most are unmarried, so there is no family to take care of. College students have little responsibility, and as a result, have little commitment. Most of my resources, my time, money, and talents, are available to use as I see fit – that is, for my own selfish enjoyment.
If college itself, with its relative lack of responsibility and commitment, lends itself to narcissism, how exactly is this narcissism made manifest? First of all, college students are notoriously good at being selfish with their time. We are free to schedule all afternoon classes so we can sleep in after staying up late watching Netflix. We can keep our evenings free to hang out with our friends. We can avoid committing to certain people in order to keep our options open if a better offer comes up. We can have fun all weekend, but avoid serving at church on Sunday because “I need to get home and do schoolwork.” College students have flexible schedules and lots of free time, but we rarely use it to serve others.
I have recently been convicted of being selfish with my money as a college student. This may seem ridiculous, because college students are notoriously poor. No, most college students cannot be accused of conspicuous consumption or blatant materialism. However, I think that this fact may actually deter financial generosity. Because I have little money, I think that I cannot afford to spend it on others, whether that means tithing at church or helping someone in need. However, I can afford to spend it on Taco Bell, Spotify Premium, concerts, and football games. When resources are tight, our generosity to others disappears long before our generosity to ourselves.
Perhaps this analysis has been somewhat harsh. However, looking back on my own college years and those of my colleagues, I think that it is uncomfortably accurate. I do not mean that college should be no fun, or that any of these aforementioned things are bad in and of themselves. And not all college students are guilty of these things; I see many of my friends pouring out their lives through service to the church, hard work in school, and participation in extracurricular ministries. However, a college experience characterized by selfishness with time, money, and talents is clearly contrary to the principles of the Gospel. For, in the words of Jesus, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).
Though the main purpose of this piece has been to point out and diagnose narcissism in college students, here are a number of thoughts on turning our lives away from ourselves and towards Christ and others:
1. Commit to something. Having responsibility and commitment forces us to sacrifice our freedom and give our time to something bigger than ourselves. For me, this commitment has come in the form of YoungLife, a high school ministry.
2. Become involved in things outside the university. College can become a bubble with little or no contact to the outside world. When this is the case, we can become inwardly focused. Find a family to become close to, get a job off campus, or serve in a local ministry. It is healthy for us to maintain some sort of contact with the real world.
3. Become an integral part of the local church. We have an abundance of free time, which can be used to serve the body of Christ. Join a small group and get to know adults who can speak into your life. Serve on Sunday mornings. Yes, it is much easier for me to show up at church at 7 A.M. than it is for the man who works a 50 hour week and has four kids to take care of.
4. Find a way to be financially generous, no matter how small the amount. Tithe to the church. Figure out how to sacrifice that quesadilla tray at Cookout once a week to help someone in need. The Gospel is powerful to break us of our narcissism and turn us towards God. I pray that He would give us college students grace and power to do this. God knows we need it.
-Alexander Batson