26 Aug Kairos Impact | Humbly Submitting to an Intentional God

My Kairos summer internship was not even close to what I expected. I came into it (arrogantly, of course) thinking that I would have nothing to learn, be underutilized, stand in staunch opposition to any and all teaching, and would be the guy that came in with the most emotional baggage.

Within the first week, I learned I was gravely mistaken. The truth of it was, we were all there to at least learn this one thing. We all needed a heavy dose of humility and we were quickly made aware of the fact that true humility hurts a whole lot. A quote I loved from the book we read, Humility: True Greatness by CJ Mahaney, says “Father, I want to stand as close to the cross as I possibly can, because it’s harder for me to be arrogant when I’m there.” This is where humility should start and stay. At the foot of the cross.

Once my arrogance was shaken and shown, God truly began a good work. A work that is still happening now, and I don’t believe will ever stop. That is the thing about this summer. It was not just a summer for me, or anyone else for that matter. It was a pivotal life shift onto a new foundation of dependence on God rather than self-reliance.

I believe Kairos is going to be that period of time I will always look back on and say “Yeah, that was when my life changed.” And what was beautiful is the fact that it was not an “all at once emotional night in prayer” type of life change. It was the timely and subtle shift of my thinking that comes only from the sure-hand of the Spirit combined with the stern teaching of some incredibly godly leaders. I did not intend to learn anything this summer, and instead I had my whole perspective on life changed for good.

I believe however, that my summer would not have been the experience it was if humility was not the vision cast from the start. My false expectations all scream “authority issues” and arrogance. I now stand on the other side of those ten weeks craving to be under any and all authority I can find.

I mentioned above the godly leaders that were able to speak into my life in incredibly new and direct ways. Before this summer, I would have gone into those conversations trying to find points of disagreement so as to discredit what they had to say to me. Now I’m desperately searching out similar guidance in my immediate community here at school.

My approach to the Bible was similar in that I was always studying and scrutinizing it rather than submitting to it. This change from skepticism of authority to submission to it immediately began to affect my life.

For example, mid-way through the summer I was asked to go on a mission trip, something I had never done in my entire life due to this skepticism. I was asked to lead a team of high schoolers, who previously terrified me, to a region of South Carolina that may have been the complete opposite of my home region of New England. And yet, I said yes, despite having a panic attack, because those in authority over me said it would be good for me. The trip was transformational, and on the last day I was reading in Streams in the Desert and read FB Meyer’s words that say, “There is nothing, indeed, which God will not do for a someone who dares to step out upon what seems to be the mist; though as they put their foot down they find a rock beneath them.”

This is part of what I was here to learn this summer. Rather than depending on myself, my intentions, and what I could see, I learned what faithfully and humbly submitting to the direction of God, and godly authority, can look like. This summer would have had an entirely different conclusion had my intentions dictated anything. It is clear now, however, that God was being far more intentional with me in this opportunity than I could have imagined. And I am continuously being humbly brought back to the cross as I learn to see His intentions and direction for me.

-Joe Montore

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