14 Jan This Crocodile Called Sex

Fifteen years ago I was accused by an acquaintance at our former church of being a “sex fiend” because according to her, that was all I wanted to talk about. Looking back, the topic of sex did dominate a lot of conversations with the women around me.

Up until about eight years ago, sex had been the biggest failure of my life and marriage. It was an area of complete bondage, shame, guilt and remorse and I had no idea how to free myself. That is probably why I wanted to talk about it constantly. Surely other women knew something I didn’t.

Questions like “Why is it such a struggle in my marriage?” and “Why am I such a failure at something other people seem to enjoy?” assailed me day and night. It wasn’t until Grace did a teaching series called “The Theology of Sex” that I started to get some answers.

I remember vividly the first day Matt Williams taught on this subject. He told a story about a village in East Asia that was being terrorized by a crocodile, losing children and limbs when it would attack. But nobody wanted to talk about it because they were afraid of it. He said the church today was afraid to talk about this “crocodile” called sex.

Sex had been the biggest failure of my life and marriage. It was an area of complete bondage, shame, guilt, and remorse.

God had started preparing my heart and my mind, a year or so before these teachings, to receive this new and exciting way of thinking about sex. I learned first of all that sex is a good thing, and in order to be healthy in this area we have to talk about it. I discovered that, despite what I was brought up thinking, God created sex for our good! There was nothing at all dirty or perverted about it from God’s perspective. The world around me had done that damage!

I realized it was such a failure between me and my husband because we had been viewing it from a worldly context and not God’s. We  were both determined to start having those tough conversations with each other and to bring our sex life under God’s authority and will.

It was not easy by any means, but I am so thankful to Grace for opening the door of dialogue for redemption, restoration and healing to come to me, my life, and my marriage. Grace is revisiting the Theology of Sex series this winter and I for one am very excited to hear and receive what God wants to reveal to me about it.

– Beverly Kinard, Pelham