I’m not a rescuer. Never have been—or at least I didn’t think I was. My parents didn’t rescue. They were “we pulled ourselves up by the bootstraps” kind of people and they raised my sister and me to be the same way.

I remember a specific time I felt completely helpless and wanted desperately to do something. My baby girl was four years old and this particular day she didn’t want to go to her preschool program. As she sat on my lap and cried she finally revealed that one of her playmates was no longer there. His parents divorced and he had moved. I tried to console her with encouragement that she would still have fun with the others, but she would have none of it. Through the tears she voiced her pains, “But Ford was my best friend.” She was heartbroken, and so was I.

In that instance I knew it was beyond my ability to fix her ache. Only God has the power to heal hurts or make sense of our troubles or comfort us in our sorrow or waiting. Since that time, somewhere along the way I lost the knowledge of that realization. Imagine my surprise last week when God revealed that I too had become a rescuer.

“Only God has the power to heal hurts or make sense of our troubles or comfort us in our sorrow or waiting.”

I’m not really sure when it happened, probably sometime in the last two or three years. I’ve been praying about a situation with a family member for close to 20 years. And I’m still praying. Last week the situation resurfaced. I didn’t consciously think these thoughts and certainly didn’t say them, but my actions said, “God if you’re not going to do something here, I am.” I sprung into action and spent half my day attempting to fix the problem to the point of throwing ridiculous amounts of money at it.

In the middle of my frenzy, I heard a still small voice in my heart tell me that God is working here but I am in His way. The truth was right in front of me. I had overstepped the bounds of concern into responsibility. This was not something that God had called me to handle. There was no direction from Him for me to obey. I had become a corrupted nurturer. I was no longer giving life to this family member. I was not making her feel empowered, stronger, bolder and more capable; I was allowing her to become dependent on me.

“I had become a corrupted nurturer. I was no longer giving life to this family member. I was not making her feel empowered, stronger, bolder and more capable; I was allowing her to become dependent on me.”

What I should have been doing all along was pointing her back to the one true Savior—Jesus. After praying, that is exactly what I did because that was the only thing I could and should do. I am limited in this situation and must entrust this problem to the faithful Lord, and she must too.

This recent scenario in my life fits in perfectly with what I have been learning in Exodus. Matt Williams said in week two, “God tries to dislodge me from my place of comfort. I want the result of that but not the process.” If I’m honest, I don’t want this process in my family member’s life or my life. It is painful to watch. I want her happy and healthy at all times, not in a place where there is tension and strife.

At the end of the day I have a choice. I can recognize that God sees her plight and is intricately involved in it, or I can choose to try to rescue her from the angst and perhaps hinder the growth God intends as a result of that season. I can show concern and nurture her by listening and speaking the truth in love, or I can take control by moving her into my circle of responsibility and attempt to fix the issues.

“What I should have been doing all along was pointing her back to the one true Savior—Jesus.”

Romans 11:33-37 is a great reminder for me that God is God, the only true Savior and the only One who can rescue any of us, unlike my feeble corrupted attempts. He delivers us in His way and in His perfect timing.

“Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! For who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to give him advice? And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.”