06 Dec The Discipline of Faith

My husband’s grandmother was someone whom I consider a giant in the faith.  The thing I think was her greatest example of faith was how she had God’s word hidden in her heart, always on her tongue, and constantly pouring out of her fingers through her writing. 

After her death, we saved hundreds of scraps of writing that we found in her house. Some pieces had Bible verses, some had simple phrases, and some had prayers. One that I think of often was almost a plea, “We are a narrative people-story, tell me the story of Jesus. Write every word on my heart.” To me, she was saying that our story is Jesus’ story.  But I’ve found myself recently believing and living like my story is my own. 

I took a simple personality test this summer and found that my animal personality is an otter.  It’s so encouraging when you look at the upside—fun-loving, outgoing, playful, cheerful, gregarious, visionary, open, positive.  But then there’s the downside and those who love me most have another name for this personality—Pig Pen.  Messy room, unorganized, lacking follow-through, feelings easily hurt, too permissive, talks too much, non-committal.  I often swing from making excuses for my lack of discipline to self-loathing because I can’t seem to get it together. Either way, my allegiance is to myself. 

“I’ve found myself recently believing and living like my story is my own.” 

After the sermon on David and Bathsheba, I was truly convicted on how undisciplined I have become in my life. I blame it on fewer brain cells after having children or my otter/pig pen personality. But it’s time to confess that I am not consistently in the Word, I spend money carelessly, my daughter will go a whole week without getting her homework done because I don’t feel like making her (and I’m an administrator at her school! Yikes!). I wait until the last minute to do EVERYTHING and wind up spinning in a thousand directions it seems because things are so crazy. Like David in 2 Samuel, my narrative is my focus and in that narrative, God and others are irrelevant.  Here we are just after Thanksgiving and the next thing I know it will be Christmas Eve and I’ll be beating myself up for yet again forgetting to take the time to quiet my soul and be rooted in God’s word and rooted with God’s people—making New Year’s resolutions to read my Bible more and be more disciplined in everything (Sophie WILL practice her violin every day. I WILL exercise every day.)

Oswald Chambers wrote “If we do not sacrifice the natural to the spiritual, the natural life will mock at the life of the Son of God in us and produce a continual swither.  This is always the result of an undisciplined spiritual nature.  We go wrong because we stubbornly refuse to discipline ourselves, physically, morally or mentally…You must discipline yourself now.  If you do not you will ruin the whole of your personal life for God.  God is not with our natural life while we pamper it; but when we put it out in the desert and resolutely keep it under, then God will be with it; and He will open up wells and oases, and fulfill all His promises for the natural.”

My prayer is that I will neither make excuses nor wallow in self-loathing over my natural self, but that I will be rooted in God’s word and put myself under His discipline so that I may honor Him and make others relevant in my life. 

In what area of your life do you struggle with self-discipline? How does it affect your walk with the Lord?

-Chappell Hughes, Downtown