08 Jan Shaping Up

Last Friday, our family began the day like so many others in America who have made fitness resolutions for the new year. We went to the gym.

In all fairness, we have been members for a long time and have gone many days over the holidays. And if we are being honest, it’s less because of fitness goals and more because of childcare and the change of scenery that we all need (especially on the rainy days!).

But on Friday, the 2nd, I looked around and saw lots of new faces. There were obviously new members who have decided that 2015 will be the year to meet or at least begin their fitness goals. Admittedly I was looking around with cynicism and wondering how many of these faces I would see in February. I, of course, will still be there (because of the childcare and change of scenery).

After a few seconds of cynical thoughts, I felt the weight of conviction over how many times in my own life I have vowed to do or change something that I have failed at. I spent some time that morning reflecting less on what I want to do but who I want to be. What do I want to define me? What are the areas where I need some serious heart change? Am I even aware of those areas? As I noticed my new friends at the gym, I couldn’t help but think on how many of us want to change or improve our appearance. I asked God to help me be more concerned about my heart and less concerned about my outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7).

I proceeded to the locker room after a workout that left me feeling great physically and spiritually. I burned many calories on an elliptical machine, pushed myself on the free weights, and had resolved in my soul to care more about my heart than the great workout. I felt quite proud of myself, my workout, and my spirituality.

And then I got to my gym bag to get things ready to shower. The people on the other side of the lockers couldn’t see me but could surely hear my gasp: I had left my makeup bag at home!

We had plans for a day full of fun and those plans didn’t include a trip back home. In my panic I texted my husband to tell him we would have to make a trip to a drugstore before continuing our day of fun with the kids. As you can imagine, it only took a few minutes for me to hear it:

What about the heart?

As quickly as I felt proud of my spirituality post-workout, I felt shame over how easy it was for me to slip back into vanity. I obviously cannot just decide to not care about my appearance and have it happen with the snap of my fingers when I’ve had years of vanity and seeking self-worth from outward compliments. That heart change will not happen in an instant any more than all the newcomers at the gym will be able to leave after a day and run a marathon.

It’s a process. It takes time. Heart change requires discipline.

In Philippians 3:12-14, Paul says it like this:

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.  No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

“That heart change will not happen in an instant any more than all the newcomers at the gym will be able to leave after a day and run a marathon.”

My pride was exposed and my arrogance was squashed that day. I am just like most of the world. We see something about ourselves that we don’t like and we want it to change without any effort. We just want to be better at that, or look thinner, or stop that bad habit. Unfortunately it isn’t that simple.

After my humbling morning at the gym, I decided to take a more realistic look at the state of my heart and set a more attainable goal: today, I will ask God for the grace I need to press on, to help me have eyes to see my sin, and for a heart that recognizes the only solution for that is Jesus. Here’s to a new day and new mercies!

Have you ever resolved to “fix” something in your heart? Since it is a process, not an instant change, what steps can you take that are realistic and attainable in your life?

-Natalie Patterson, Spartanburg