13 Feb Reflecting Christ Through Inviting

When I think of the challenges of being an ezer, the Holy Spirit has shown me that my attitude in certain relationships is completely rebellious to His calling and design. These are the relationships that leave me with feelings of anger, frustration and entitlement.

Oftentimes, I am tempted to feel superior in these difficult relationships, usually when I feel tension about character differences between myself and the other person; I believe they should think and act like me. Sometimes, I see a true sin issue, but my role in these relationships is not always one where I have the freedom to rebuke; this leads me to further frustration. I think to myself, “if they would just stop sinning, then it would be so much easier to love them!”

This self-righteousness in my heart manifests itself in many ways. For example, I consider one woman in my life to be materialistic. The last thing I want to do is go shopping with her and support her sin. But spending that time with her would demonstrate love in a way she would accept. Instead, I have chosen to hold her at arms’ length, silently refusing to aid her in sin. The Holy Spirit is revealing that I am actually just passing judgment on her.

When I began the Ezer study, I was prayerfully expectant of God showing up and revealing my sin to me. I was aware of my actions toward this woman, but thought my response to her was legitimate. I was not aware of the depth of sin in my heart and how that sin looks different in different relationships. In this particular one, my actions and attitudes were completely opposite of Jesus; I was uninviting, self-protective and controlling. I did not believe God was big enough to change her heart; instead I took it upon myself to “fix” a misguided and oblivious sinner. The weight of forcing change on someone else was maddening, and I only frustrated myself and failed to exemplify the gospel.

The Holy Spirit continues to challenge me to be inviting in this relationship. I call her simply to catch up, meet her for lunch and yes, even shop with her. I cannot say I always do these things happily. Every interaction with her heightens my awareness of my sin and I am continually asking the Lord to refine my heart and my response towards her. When I do choose to lay down my rights to myself, my time or my energy by meeting her where she is, I am inviting her as Jesus did me.

He did not hold my sin against me, or wait for me to stop sinning before He loved me — He loved me in spite of my sin. Being inviting to her, as Jesus is to me, is one way I can reflect the image of God and become more like Christ.

And instead of withholding myself in an attempt to control and change her, I have claimed my freedom in Christ to let Him change her. My part is simply to reflect who He is by inviting and engaging her in a real and loving way.

~ Molly Burns