18 Jan Life Change | The Ezer Study

The Ezer Study for women at Grace has been a growing experience for me as I process the concepts presented in the thoughtfully prepared materials and discussions. I had heard of the term “ helpmate” a while back and was always a bit bothered by the connotation that Eve was a “helper”. It sounded like she should have been patted on the head and told “Good job” for the work she did.

But, “ezer kenegdo” has a much more robust meaning and gives strength and dignity to Eve as an “essential counterpart”. We, as daughters of Eve, are strong and have equal yet different weight as ones who are created in God’s image. The idea that God has wired us differently, but carefully, to be a partner with Adam is life affirming.

I began the study carrying much baggage such as isolation and some guilt from past sins.  I listened and took lots of notes and worked through the study, which took me past those initial strongholds.  I learned so much more about the Gospel-centered life which helped me drop my need for self focus.  Getting rid of “self” has greatly impacted my ability to live my life as an ezer.  Allowing Christ to fill me and change my heart and my thought processes has made me much more comfortable to love my husband, daughters, and people in my church and community.

The groups of women I have been with through the studies, as a member and as a co-facilitator, have blessed me.  The women came with hearts ready for change and growth. We were able to share honestly about our struggles and offer encouragement.  The community of women believers has been diverse.  We have had women in all seasons such as singles, empty nesters and women who have just given up jobs to stay home for their children. We’ve shared tears, prayers and so much laughter as we’ve learned not to take ourselves too seriously.

I asked my youngest daughter if she has noticed anything different about me since I began the Ezer study.  She thought about it and said that I now call she and her sister on things that they do that are not pleasing to God and she is actually receptive to it.  I guess my parenting has stepped up a bit, as I tended to be more timid about touchy subjects.  My oldest daughter who is now in college will be beginning the study this week.  I am excited for her to work through this study and to grasp the importance of her identity in Christ.

As for my role as a wife, I have always thought of myself as Ken’s partner, but I have also taken control as I grew up to be independent and self-sufficient and prided myself in that ability.   Understanding the capacities of inviting, nurturing and partnering has taken on much more meaning and I can respect the uniqueness of God’s wiring of my husband and allow him more freedom to lead. I admit I have a way to go in forgoing my self-protecting tendencies and expressing love much more unconditionally to him.

-Carrie Brazell, Powdersville Campus

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