Does Size Matter?

This is embarrassing to admit, but in my late forties I am just now accepting the fact that I will never have a perfect body.  I’m sure some of you are thinking, Hello! Of course not! But I have been reluctant to let go of this unspoken, misdirected goal.  No, let’s call it what it’s been – an idol.

Last year I wrote a post about some of my body image struggles (If Only I Could Lose Fifteen Pounds). I recognized then, and still do, the corruption and false hope in that title. I have had this idea somewhere in the back of my mind that when I just get around to it, I can work hard enough, exercise enough, and eat right enough to get the body of my imagination. If I just get enough sleep and use the right products, the number of wrinkles around my eyes will start reversing, the sagging and cellulite will magically disappear. In my arrogance and pride, it’s all been under my control but just an area waiting for my full attention to really “get it right” and master.

“No matter how hard I try for how long, I will never be completely satisfied with my body.”

As I watch my three beautiful teenage daughters find fault with the way they look, it is finally hitting me that I continue to be held captive by a complete lie! No matter how hard I try for how long, I will never be completely satisfied with my body.  And I’m sure that that is not the point anyway.  God’s Word tells us that our earthly bodies are wasting away; do I really think that somehow I can beat the odds? I can take care of myself and try to stay as healthy as possible, but much of this aging process is something I cannot control. That reality is hard to swallow.

I see and read about women around my age getting Botox, undergoing plastic surgery and starving themselves to maintain a perceived “perfect size.”  But these are only temporary stays on a sentence that can never be reversed. Am I going to invest all of my hope in the world’s definition of beauty and constantly feel like a miserable failure, or am I going to place my trust in God’s definition of beauty and believe that His truth has eternal value that transcends today’s trends? Am I going to fix my eyes on Him and allow Him to renew my spirit every day (2 Corinthians 4:16)? This is a choice I make every time I get on the scale or look in the mirror.

“Pleasing ways lie and beauty comes to nothing, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.“ (Proverbs 31:3) That’s the woman I want to be. Lord, make it so.

Are you more focused on fading external beauty or beauty that comes from within? (1 Peter 3:3-4) What can you do to change your focus?

-Keri Geary, Downtown

Grace will be launching the latest Ezer study: Body Matters in February 2015. For more information on the study or to stay connected, click here: