26 Jan Better or Bitter?

Sleep.  It’s something that eludes me. I suffer long and frequent bouts of sleeplessness. I don’t know which is worse though, the sleepless nights or the prescription medicine to prevent it!

This particular medication for helping me to get some rest has possibly the worst taste ever in the history of mankind. Ok, that may be a bit of a stretch, but it is a really terrible taste. 

It is truly a bitter pill. It’s hard to swallow too because I taste it the instant it hits my tongue.  The bitter aftertaste stays with me too. It’s there all night long, after I wake in the morning, after I’ve scrubbed my mouth clean, after two cups of hot strong coffee, it’s still there. It is hard to get rid of that awful bitter taste.

I was listening to a speaker on Christian radio while driving a few weeks ago. She made a statement that has stuck with me for days and days. It’s one of those simple phrases that will probably be with me for the rest of my life. She said, “Any set of circumstances God puts you in can either make you better or bitter.” The more I thought about this wise woman’s words, the more I pondered them, the more I deconstructed them in my head, the more I decided she was right.

“Any set of circumstances God puts you in can either make you better or bitter.”

The definition of bitterness in Webster’s dictionary is depressing. Marked by cynicism and rancor. Distasteful or distressing to the mind. Exhibiting intense animosity. As bad as that is, the Bible takes it to a whole new level.

Ephesians 4:31 instructs us to get rid of all bitterness that is an obstacle for moving towards forgiveness and reconciliation. Hebrews 12:15 tells us a bitter root that is allowed to grow and flourish will cause a lot of trouble for many people.   

If you study these passages at length, you will find bitterness is basically spiritual poison in a believer’s life. It’s hard to recognize too. That’s why the Bible calls it a root. It lies deep under the surface where it often goes unseen for what it really is. If left unchecked, it can lead to all kinds of sinful behaviors such as anger, wrath, or hatred to name a few.

I never thought much about bitterness until this last year.  As 2016 opened before me, I did a mental review of what I had learned and where I had grown in my spiritual life. Somewhere during 2015, the Holy Spirit made it plain and evident to me that I was dealing with bitterness.

Once I realized it, I knew immediately when the root took hold and started to flourish. It was three years ago during the holiday season. There had been little seeds dropped through three decades but none actually sprouted until this one did. 

Looking back, I can see now that this root under the surface of my emotions was what was driving a lot of my bad moods, irritability, and sarcastic attitude. I can identify places where those things lead to bad mouthing those involved which lead to manipulation and control. It was fuel for the self-protecting mode of operation prevailing in my life. 

“That’s what happens when I become bitter. I make it all about me.”

It wasn’t enough for me to admit what the Holy Spirit revealed was true. Next, I had to take action to get rid of the bitter root as I’m commanded to do or else it would have stayed with me, just like the sleeping pill taste. Without that step, the path of destruction this poison was causing in my life would have continued to grow wider and longer. The Lord and His word helped me to start the process of digging out this root lodged in my heart.

I think the female speaker was making the point though, that there was another step further which needs to be taken. It’s not enough to recognize it then get rid of it. Now I have to let God use it in my life to grow me, make me a better person. I have to let others see the work He has done in my life in this area so that He gets full credit and glory. That’s when full redemption comes, when God takes something bad and uses it for my good and for the good of others.

It’s funny really. As I kept thinking about better or bitter, there is only one letter different in the two words. What a weird coincidence the word bitter has an “I” in it! That’s what happens when I become bitter. I make it all about me. I’m thinking about nothing or no one but myself. I become obsessed with what “I” want or an injustice that “I” have experienced.   I’ve taken my focus off of Jesus and fixed it on me, me, me.

I’m excited as a new year, a new journey with the Lord begins. I’m thankful for His revelation of my sin and His continual grace that covers it. I’m expectant of seeing spiritual growth in my life this time next year, not because of me, myself, and I but solely because of Him!

-Beverly Kinard, Pelham