The God I worship is the God of the universe and all of creation. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the One who holds the world in His hands and gives us life. This is the God I worship, yet sometimes I fail to fully recognize all of His glory.

In 2 Samuel 6:1-11 David and the young men of Israel go to Balaah in Judah in order to bring back the ark of God. The ark is the footstool of God’s earthly throne, a resemblance of God’s holiness. Along the way, Uzzah, one of the men guiding the cart on which the ark rests, reaches out and takes hold of the ark due to the stumble of the oxen. The passage reads that the Lord’s anger burned against Uzzah for his irrelevant act, and that he was struck down. Woah.

Growing up in Sunday school I was presented with an image of a loving, forgiving, and always grace-extending God. He was smiling with His arms open wide in every illustration, welcoming all of His children to come to Him. How do this version of a loving God and the story of God in 2 Samuel coincide?

There have been plenty of times in my life when I have made decisions that are not honoring to the Lord. His commandments tell me to honor my mother and father, yet at times I am disrespectful. He says not to covet or be jealous, yet I long for things I do not have. He lovingly exhorts me to fear not, yet I am anxious about the future and the uncertainty of life. He directs me to love my neighbor as myself, yet I fail to always put others first. Mostly importantly, He clearly instructs me to love Him above all else, yet I worship worthless idols instead of giving my heart fully to the Lord.

“It’s easy to be self-righteous and measure my performance against others instead of admitting to the depth of sin in my own heart.”

Why do I do this? Partly because I am sinful by nature, but perhaps I also do not fully recognize the vast measure of God’s holiness. I know that I am in need of God’s mercy and forgiveness each day (that is clear just by the thoughts that pass through my mind), but am I really that bad? If I am not careful, my view of self can elevate while my view of God narrows to the point where I do not fear Him as I should— I only see Him as the smiling, childhood illustration. It’s easy to be self-righteous and measure my performance against others instead of admitting to the depth of sin in my own heart. However, the truth of Scripture is clear that we all have sin that runs much deeper than we can grasp, and that there is an overwhelming gap between our sin and God’s holiness.

The passage from 2 Samuel demonstrates this gap between our sinfulness and His holiness, and to understand the vastness of this gap is to understand how great God’s love is for us. Even in our sin, He comes to us, and by the cross has made a way for us to be in fellowship with Him. If I claim to be a follower of Christ and truly seek to know God’s character, then I must understand that He is gracious, loving, and merciful, but He is also righteous, holy, and just. He is my all in all, and He deserves my utmost worship, honor, praise, and obedience.