06 Mar Cultor House Reflection | Brian Barbee

Not yet a year removed from my college graduation, I am still living in the shadow of one of the most celebrated, storied, and universally-loved seasons of life to be found in the world today: the modern American collegiate experience. My own college experience was the most challenging, impactful, and enjoyable four years of my life to date. Clemson University surpassed all of my expectations for it as the ‘Great Orange Hope’ of my late adolescent years.

However, there is not even a part of me that wants to return to school after ten months out of it – a marked contrast to the mindset I had while at Clemson. Going into my senior year, I had probably put more thought into how I could extend this stage of life than actually finding out what I wanted to do. I was enjoying my time and growing in many ways but still lacking in direction: a ship without a rudder. A half-year in the Cultor House program has moved me from stubborn, fearful rejection of the future to a healthy acceptance of the reality in front of me.

While the thought of a year-long program appealed to my desire for another “collegiate” year, my experience in Cultor House has been worthwhile in large part because I have been forcibly removed from that season of my life. Life after college is a different circumstance requiring great growth in character and core to this new circumstance are the responsibilities that come with working full-time. Working for two different employers, I’ve been given opportunities to utilize my gifts and tasks that have exposed my weaknesses, forcing me to cope with failure. Simply by doing what the program has put in front of me, I have learned valuable lessons about the nature of work and how I approach it.

I often feel heavy-laden with responsibilities as an intern. However, I am seeing continually that I am just scratching the surface of responsibility – my peers last year my fellow college students, but now they are men and women who manage faithful service of the church, formidable work ethics, and their own marriages and children on a daily basis. These same people find the time to invest in me. The program and the people around me this year have challenged me to come to terms with this new, demanding season of life.

Within Cultor House, I have found myself immersed in the body of our church. I either heard or made up a quote recently: “Discipleship happens in houses, around tables, over meals.” Indeed, the best meals I have eaten this year happened at other people’s tables. These are the settings of growth, change, awkward silences, truth, and love. These are the settings of the patient process that is discipleship. The responsibilities given to us in Cultor House provide the program’s backbone. Meals, questions, and good company make up its lifeblood.

Here is the truth: I lived in a bubble for four years until it popped. Though it was a good bubble – the right one to be in at the time – it doesn’t exist anymore. A new season of life has come. Moving into it, I consider how temporary this last one proved to be. The momentary season loosens our grip on life and circumstance, teaching us to look instead to the everlasting for our hope and our satisfaction. In Cultor House, I am learning to embrace these new seasons as they come.